MythBuster: "Domestic abuse ends when the relationship ends."

The relationship ends.

People expect the abuse to end too.

But for many women, it doesn’t.

It changes.

The abuse that once happened behind closed doors can become relentless phone calls, unwanted messages, stalking, harassment or intimidation. It can become endless emails, social media accounts appearing out of nowhere, accusations, legal proceedings or repeated attempts to force contact.

For women who share children with an abusive ex-partner, leaving doesn’t always mean freedom. Child contact can become another tool of control. Every handover, every message about the children and every court hearing can be used to keep the abuse going.

This isn’t about parenting.

It isn’t about staying involved.

It’s about maintaining power and control.

The end of a relationship means the perpetrator is losing control. For some, that doesn’t mean the abuse stops. It means the tactics change.

That’s why leaving can be one of the most dangerous times.

Survivors are often expected to simply move on with their lives. The reality can look very different. They may still be changing their routines, documenting incidents, involving the police, attending court, protecting their children and living with the fear that the abuse has never really ended.

Domestic abuse isn’t defined by whether two people are still together. It’s defined by one person’s continued use of power and control over another.

The relationship ended.

The control didn’t.